Your Own Path

TL;DR: Hard work matters, but luck and circumstances matter too. Find your own path instead of copying others. Be prepared when opportunities come.

What to expect:

The illusion of meritocracy

Why some advantages can't be replicated

The role of luck in success

How to find your own path

Introduction

For a long time, I tried to replicate what successful people did. If someone achieved a goal I wanted, I would follow the same steps.

Unfortunately, I discovered that many things can't be replicated. Some advantages come the moment you're born.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is unfair, and I don't feel mad at people with more advantages than me. I just know they exist.

That's life: I have many advantages compared to some people, but also many disadvantages compared to others.

Let's break down some thoughts about this!

The Illusion of Meritocracy

I think everyone has heard once in a lifetime: "Work hard and you'll succeed." But is it true?

I don't know. In my experience, that's kind of true. But I also know people who work way harder than me, and they don't succeed.

Success is relative. What I consider success can be different from what you consider success. But in this post, to keep things simple, let's pretend success = money.

Here's a story:

Two friends, same age (20 years old), same intelligence, work at the same place, same hours.

At 40, one is a millionaire. The other struggles to pay bills.

How? Even if they did the same thing at some point, their circumstances were different:

Person A:

Lived with parents
No bills to worry about
All free time for studying
Could invest early

Person B:

Had to pay rent
Paid all their own bills
Needed a second job
Couldn't save anything

Why does that happen? Because each one has their own individual path.

The Individual Path

The individual path is simple to understand: not everything that works for you will work for others. You cannot blindly follow advice that other people give you.

"Oh, so I can't take advice, right?"

Wrong. You should listen to people, just not blindly.

Here's an example:

When I started programming, I was lost. I didn't know how to study, what to study. Every person talked about different things, different paths, but none worked for me.

I tried many paths, but none worked. Does that mean those paths are wrong? Definitely not. They just don't work for me.

So what did I do? I found my own way.

Here's another example:

Some people say the key to learning is studying 30 minutes every day. Others swear by pomodoro: 30 minutes of focus, 15 minutes of break.

Neither worked for me. Does that mean they're wrong? Of course not. I know many people who find these methods great. They just don't work for me.

So what's better: keep following paths that work for others because they said so? For me, that's a no.

Things You Can't Replicate

Certain things you can't replicate. Some happen the moment you're born:

Your parents → If they're financially stable, you're more likely to have financial advantages
Where you live → Cities with opportunities vs. small towns with fewer options
Natural intelligence → Some people just learn faster
Personality → Money saver or spender
Random events → Being at the right place at the right time

Take me as an example. I never had to work until my 20's. That was my choice, to start buying my own stuff, because I didn't want to feel like a burden. I HATE asking "can I buy something?" to my parents.

Now, take someone who had to work since 15 because their family needed help.

If they follow the exact same path as me, they might achieve a different result. Better or worse.

Let's say they landed a job at Google, while I didn't. Why? While working at 15, they met someone from Google who liked their profile and invited them to join.

How the hell would I replicate that? It's impossible. Even with a time machine, who can predict that a Google employee will meet me and like my profile?

That's only achievable with something I'll discuss next: luck.

Luck

Most people don't like talking about luck because it feels like giving up control.

But timing, geography, who you happen to meet - these variables are real. Acknowledging them isn't defeat. It's honesty.

Here's my story:

Age 20 → Random job while doing mechanical engineering. Hated it. Quit after 1 year.
Age 21 → Internship. Better, but still didn't fit. Quit even though they'd hire me. Entered a bootcamp. No income, but had savings for a year.
6 months later → Found a job on a Discord server. Sent a message. Got the job.
1 year later → Promoted.
2 years later → Bootcamp colleague referred me to a US company. Got the job.

Let's be real. I was lucky as hell. Everything went as expected, and some things were a complete surprise. But I'm humble enough to understand that I was lucky.

So should I rely on luck?

Of course not. You should be prepared for it. When luck came to my door, I was ready every time. I had the skills, and I had done the homework.

Don't rely on luck, but be prepared for it when it's your time.

So, What Can I Do?

You need to find your own path. Don't blindly follow advice that others give you.

Let's take studying as an example:

For most people, 30 minutes every day or pomodoro works. For me, 30 minutes isn't enough to learn anything, especially advanced software engineering topics. Even for simple things, I find it impossible to learn something in 30 minutes.

I like playing games. It's my primary hobby. If I have 1 hour for games and study, 30 minutes isn't enough for either.

So I found my way: extreme focus with cycling periods.

Week 1: Study only, deep focus. Week 2: Games only, full relaxation.

The outcome is the same: each 2 weeks, I get 5 hours of both. But in one of them, I have more focused time.

That works for me. I don't know if it works for you, but you can test it.

If it works, do it. If pomodoro is better for you, do that. Just find your own path.

The only thing you can't do: blame someone for your decisions. You chose the path, after all. Be prepared for both success and failure.

Conclusion

Your path is yours.

Not better. Not worse. Just different.

And that's okay.

One thing I know for sure: if you carve your own path, you will find your way, and you will be proud of it.

I hope these reflections help you feel more confident in carving out a path that actually fits you.

If this post was helpful, consider leaving a like. It helps me know what resonates with you.

Farewell.